Which is right anyway?

    Growing up in a Mormon family and dating Mormon boys I always figured the time would eventually come for me to "send off" a missionary. Little did I know what that all would bring to the table. There are many different ways to look at "having a missionary" and sadly people not only outside the Mormon religion but also in it are very quick to jump to conclusions and judge what they think is right or wrong. When I was just 16 years old I met my now husband who I absolutely adore. He was a senior and I was a sophomore at the same high school and after a while feelings started to really grow just before he left to serve a two year mission for the LDS church. I had people ask me time and time again if I was planning on waiting for him and telling me that it will never work out. If you have or are writing someone you love that is on a mission I am positive you have heard both those lines over and over. I was torn to the core and experienced a lot of heartache over this all. I knew I loved Nick but I also knew I was still in high school and wanted the best experience I could have. So the time came for Nick to embark on this adventure and I struggled, like really bad. I missed him so much everyday and at times did not know how I would be able to sincerely live my life and have a normal high school experience with how I was feeling. Before I go on with my personal experience I would like to touch on a couple of things.

1. For girls that have a boy that they love out serving the lord, it is okay to feel this way. It is okay to cry, mourn, and really just to "feel" that sadness. Is he out serving, growing, and doing such a great thing? Of course he is but that doesn't mean you have to always be strong and always fake how you may not be feeling every single day. One of the biggest things I learned through this experience is that I have every right to hurt and feel every single emotion I am going through. It is healthy and made me the person I am today. Hard things make you strong and grow as a individual.

2. At the same time, those boys out serving need our support and love. They need you to grow along with them and make good choices. There was nothing more that I loved than getting emails and letters from my husband and hearing all that he is experiencing. I truly felt like I was growing with him and that couldn't have made me happier. At the same time I had a responsibility to grow myself while still living my life. I had the opportunity to make this hard experience even harder by turning bitter or to turn it around and grow and learn some important life lessons. Choose to grow strong ladies. 

  Back to my personal experience as a "missionary girlfriend." How many of us really like that term? I got that all of the time. I got laughed at, teased, and had my feelings torn up at times. After a lot of prayer and thinking, I decided for myself that I was going to date and let myself have those experiences to grow and learn. Now, don't get me wrong I was not always the smartest from time to time and I still do regret things to this day (posting pictures of boys/things I shouldn't) but I now truly understand why I went through it and how that taught me. My husband served a full 2 year mission and I even served a little mission myself. I left right after I graduated to nanny in San Francisco, California and boy did I grow through that experience as well. We wrote every week for 2 years and I loved him through it all. Now, were there tough times? Of course. There were things that hurt my husband and still to this day I regret it and prove to him everyday that those "dates" didn't mean anything. But, the point is that I made a promise to myself that I would do what I would want my daughters, sisters, and friends to do as well. I was not going to be a hypocrite. Nick returned from his mission and we knew it was right. I loved him then more than I have ever loved him and I knew that he was the one for me. We got engaged about two and a half months after he got home and were sealed in the Logan temple for time and all eternity. That my friends, was the happiest day of my life. That is where we can all get if we make that choice to let ourselves be happy, to make good choices and have enduring peace in this life and the life to come.

Now we are eight months married and still to this day I get "oh you cheated on him while he was on his mission." I feel bad for him..blah blah blah. But, guess what? I have the decision to let that effect me or let that make me strong. Girls, if you decide to date you are not or will never be "cheating." If you do not decide to date that is okay! It is YOUR choice. That is the whole beauty of it.  No one has any right to judge, tease, or hurt you if you don't let them. It worked out for my husband and I and it can for you too! I saw this all too often while I went through this experience and I let myself grow and chose to ignore those people who tried to bring me down and I still do. Our love is even stronger and sweeter because of it. I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of all you girls and even guys that get the experience of going through this and choosing to stay positive. I have so many great friends and examples in my life that do and I love you all so much. I am so proud of my husband for serving a faithful LDS mission and watching him grow and learn was something I will never truly be able to thank him or my father in heaven enough. If you choose to "wait" or to "date" that is up to YOU. You have the decision to determine your happiness and life. Neither is right or wrong and with any situation you decide the outcome. I am thankful to all those young men and women that leave and serve the lord and are so caring and obedient. It is not an easy thing to do but the blessings will come. Now being married to my husband I am able to experience some of those blessings and I couldn't be more grateful for them or him. Life is all about choosing how you will react in every situation and how it will impact your life in a positive or negative way. YOU choose.
   
-bradshawblogs.blogspot.com